What is in front of us

As thought on rushing through and getting things done.

There is a somewhat cynical joke about psychoanalysis, that it’s all about death and sex. Well yes… and no. But this cannot be all we are because we have pretty long lives and we have to make something out of it, there is meaning to be made from it. What the meaning is, is up to us and sometimes it is made for us but if we are lucky we can make the meaning ourselves.

There is a quote by American academic Alan Jacobs: “You rush through the writing, the researching, the watching, the listening, you’re done with it, you get it behind you — and what is in front of you? Well, death, for one thing. For the main thing.” This is about the rush to do the things that we feel we have to do, so then we can get to the good stuff (what is the good stuff?). We can get something else behind us, and then… that just leads us nearer - as Jacobs says - to death. We don’t think about this do we? We don’t want to think about what is ahead and when we think that Freud talked about all the ways that we have of defending against the stuff we don’t want to think about - it’s all more closely linked than we thought.

Yes, I’m aware that this post isn’t going to be my most popular. It’s inevitable. We don’t like to be reminded - see the previous paragraph. But I suppose the main point here is that we are all rushing to do things, get things out of the way, but for what? Exciting things, things to dull our boredom? This thing called life is apparently so tedious that we constantly have to make up things to get us through the next bit of life. What if we consider that these things we are making up actually take us away from life itself? If they are distractions? More countries are richer than ever, we have better health, we are living longer, we have devices and technology to make our lives easier, and yet we are more miserable than ever, our mental health is visibly getting worse. It doesn’t add up does it? Perhaps all these exciting things that we are making up are actually taking us away from things that would enrich our lives. Like what, you might ask? We know we feel better in nature, we generally don’t have to go very far for that. We know connections - real connections - are important and make us feel less isolated. We don’t like doing boring things like washing up but what if they allow us to be mindful?

Yes, I can see your scepticism, and I would be sceptical too. But I keep coming back to the same questions - firstly the one that Jacobs is asking above, and secondly if we are rushing to get to the good stuff, why are we so miserable? Because ‘getting through’ things is not making us happier, nor are the distracting exciting things. Labour saving devices to give us more time and cut down on ‘getting through’ things has not made us happier, nor have our phones that can do everything, nor will A. I. Conversely, perhaps these things make finding meaning more difficult. What then are we supposed to be doing once we have got through the rush to do the things we want to get out of the way? If we have not come to know what is important for us because we have simply ‘got through’ other things that we think don’t matter so much, how are we supposed to pick what we’re rushing towards out of the myriad options? Perhaps the journey is indeed the most important part of getting there.